I wonder what you’ll be doing in 10 years. Will you be married and have children and a normal job?

I wonder what you’ll be doing in 20 years. Will you be graying at the temples and mowing your lawn on Sundays before watching the game?

I wonder what you’ll be doing in 30 years. Will you have gone bald and wear cardigans to keep warm on a spring day while chasing your grandchildren?

I wonder what you’ll be doing in 40 years. Will you now have a cane because of a fall last winter and your knees just aren’t what they used to be?

I wonder what you’ll be doing in 50 years. Will you old and hobbled with arthritis and you think the biggest thing that will happen to you now days is getting the mail from the new young mail lady?

I wonder what you’ll be doing in 60 years. Will you have been bed ridden because your legs no longer can support you and you have to be fed? And you wait for the days that your great grand children come to visit, which isn’t that often.

Do you wonder what I’ll be doing in 10 years? Well I’ll be the one marrying you and loving the many children we have. Being there to support you in whatever decision you make.

Do you wonder what I’ll be doing in 20 years? I’ll be the one to dust the grass of your shoes and make your sandwiches leaving you and the boys to whatever you really do.

Do you wonder what I’ll be doing in 30 years? I’ll be the one to try and keep you from wearing those ratted old shirts you love, thinking that we’re to young to be old. I’ll be right beside you chasing our grandchildren, so don’t you worry.

Do you wonder what I’ll be doing in 40 years? I’ll be the one thinking you still take my breath away even after all this time.

Do you wonder what I’ll be doing in 50 years? I’ll be the one laughing at you because when you do retrieve the mail your pants always seem to fall down. You need to start wearing suspenders.

Do you wonder what I’ll be doing in 60 years? I’ll be the one to lay right beside you. I’ll be the one to help you eat every last bite you stubborn old goat. And I’ll be the one to whisper every waking moment to you that I’ve always been in love with you, and thanking God that you are still in my life.

I’ve got to stop doing this. It’s hurting me. Yesterday I felt you here. It was a sense of peace that I haven’t felt since I last saw you. Maybe it was the anniversary or I don’t know what. I was actually happy yesterday, I mean falling on the floor tears coming out of my eyes happy. But I feel myself slipping and last time it honestly almost killed me. So this is the last letter that I’m going to write to you Marc for a long while. I hope that up in heaven you are smiling and no longer in pain.

Yet again you were in that in between dream state. I think that I like you there better. There I can somewhat control my actions. You held me all night long. Even thunderstorms couldn’t keep you away. Thank you so very much.

I think that cupid does take this love thing seriously. I wrote a letter a couple of days ago about me walking down a winding path with petals along the way with you standing at the end. No joke, this morning I woke up to cream colored petals down my winding walk way. Now that made me truly smile a big smile that hasn’t come off since.

I’m going to leave you with this to think about while you’re up late. See I did didn’t want this. I looked for ways to NOT like you at all. I failed misearably and damn glad too. Every single day I fall in love with you more and more. Sometimes I cry because fate must be messing with me. Each moment I expect to wake up to a reality without you in it. It must be a joke cause that’s what fate always threw at me. Nightimes were the worst. I had no one to think of as I fell asleep. Now you are in my life I dream the good happy dreams. You slay my monsters. I’m no longer afraid. You have changed me. I think that you are my destiny.

If he only knew it was him that I was having issues with :D

Everytime I click on the more page and get sorry error occurred please report any issues, I just crack up. Oh if only you knew what issues I have.

7:35pm

It happened again and I’m laughing even harder.

8:07pm

So yet again same message came up again. Oh now I’m laughing so hard tears are starting to spring from my eyes. This happens one more time I just might tell you the issues I’m having.

You know that semi dream state where you’re almost asleep but not quite? You were there the whole night. I don’t think that I really got a good nights sleep. But I don’t mind. I woke up smiling.

Letter 13 of 365

Dear (Insert Your Name Here),                                 

This is all the random stuff that I’ve wanted to say to you throughout today:

·         Hi.

·         How was your day?

·         I really had no intention of falling for you. It was me and my smart ass mouth that got me into this situation. Fuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkk. Guess the joke was on me. 

·         Shit I’m really screwed. Really, really screwed.

·         You have gotten me to admit more on this site that I ever wanted to or thought possible. I think this is going to be a really great year for me.

·         I’m glad that I write these letters to you at least one person, might be you might not, gets what I feel.

·         Even though it might not seem like it I am so shy when it comes to you. It’s to the point of throwing up whenever we chat.

·         Where in the hell have you been all my life?

·         I stand before you as just a woman, a woman in love with you.

·         Damn I really am screwed.

 Love,

(Insert My Name Here)

Oh how I’m smiling right now. I only have one picture of you yet I’m looking at a little boy of about 2 or 3 years old and thinking to myself that’s how you would have looked at that age. Sandy blonde hair, blueish green eyes, gorgeous smile. I got to shake his hand. He looked at me and said hi. I melted. Man how I am smiling today. 

A little later……………

The little boy, binky in his mouth, waved goodbye to me and right then I fell in love.

Shhhhh. Don’t Tell Him Yet!

I know that if I ever asked you to marry me it wouldn’t be enough.  I don’t think that I would ever have enough time with you. We could live forever but what is the point in that? I just want to be by your side through thick and thin. Hold hands when we’re old, toothless, and forgetful. Tell you I love you even though you might not think you’re at your hottest. Though, hell you’ll always take my breath away. But someday I’ll still ask you just to get my chance at this kind of happiness. Marry me?